Touring the U.S.A.

I have decided to do a tour of the U.S. of goddamn A. to keep up with my good friend Scott (see his blog). I have put aside my jealousy and decided to keep up with the Jones’s. Yup, time for a tour of the Unmitigated Shambles of Aberdeenshire. My first stop was a trip to our very own Disney World…… Storybook Glen. Who needs Rollercoasters when you can get a papier-mache Humpty Dumpty to sit on – I had loads of fun…just sitting there….motionless. Who needs the world’s largest Disney Store in Downtown Disney when you can get all you need in the Dingle Dell Gift and Garden Centre. After that I went to Codonas Amusement Park. It’s like Busch Gardens meets Universal Studios – no shit (well, apart from the crusty decade-old-never-been-cleaned-off Seagull crap covering every outdoor ‘attraction’). Good old fashioned Waltzers spinning me around until I projectile vomit over some kid’s Candy Floss as he watches on – how can you even try to compare the girly little ‘Teacup’ ride to this kind of enjoyment. Here I also took a trip on the ‘Grampian Eye‘ – our very own version of the ‘London Eye’. Granted, at the top of the London version you can see the whole of London whereas at the top of Grampian’s I saw the whole of…well…the whole of Codonas Amusement Park (just) – but that’s not important. What is important is that we can do it all here. There is no need to cross the Atlantic to spend all of your savings only to spend half your time in queues – believe me, no-one is queueing up to go on this stuff.

I will keep you updated with details of my tour.

Jealous of Scott and his ‘adventure’? – I think not!

Andy

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